It’s dark outside, but the sounds of the streets keep me from sleep.
As I walk, I hold myself tight, my hands clenched so tightly that I can’t imagine blood flowing anywhere near the vicinity of my fingertips. My chest hurts, aches. With every breath I take that’s more than shallow, I wince. My legs are burning almost as much as my eyes, but I power through. I let my tired feet carry me further, with no direction and no end in mind.
My mind is so full that it feels heavy, although I’m sure the exhaustion is weighing me down, too. Every thought is too big for me to comprehend, and there are too many to pick just one at a time. It makes me numb. Instead of sifting through the thousands and thousands of shuffled and unorganized files that make up my mind, I shut it off. For now. I’ll deal with those things later.
That’s when I see You.
And You wrap me into your arms like a child. No questions asked. No apology, no explanation needed.
Until You touch my cheeks, I don’t know that they’re tear-stained.
You make me feel beautiful because You believe that I am. You make me feel kind because You know my heart. You ease my pain because You know my mind, my intentions.
You know me better than anyone ever will.
You know me because You made me, You fabricated me, You designed me. Everything I am, I am because You made it so.
I struggle to accept Your grace, but I will always strive to live in it. I’m not always good at following directions, but I will always do my best to live Your will.
I squeeze my eyes closed, hold You close and breathe You in. I feel Your chest rumble as You chuckle at my childlike ways.
When I open my eyes, You’re gone. But I still feel Your warmth in my chest and Your hand on my shoulder.
I will let You guide me.
Suddenly, my mind is calm.
And the night doesn’t seem so dark.